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Bible Quotes: Let Your Gentleness be Known

Are you wearing your ashes proud today? Hoping someone will ask you what is on your head? Did you wear your hair back just so you could be easily recognized as a Christian today? Our family won’t receive our ashes until this evening and then it will be bedtime…bummer, no one will be able to see me marked as a Christian…or will they? What if I took St. Paul’s advice, “Let your gentleness be known.” What if I made it a point all day, every day to let my gentleness be known to everyone this Lent? As part of our Bible quotes topic here at The Littlest Way, let’s look at a verse on gentleness.

Bible Quotes: Let Your Gentleness Be Known

You know I love the book of Philippians; it’s called Paul’s “Letter of Joy,” what’s not to love? And each time I read Philippians, I come away with another piece to the joy puzzle. Yes, for me, joy did not come naturally; and some days I still have to remind myself, “I am a joyful person.” Joy was/is like a mysterious puzzle that I seemed to be missing pieces to and yet others not only had all the pieces, they seemed to have spare pieces. I would experience moments of happiness based on exterior circumstances or stimuli but joy was confusing and elusive. Not so much the last few years, but that’s because I’ve been very intentional about my thoughts.

But back to ashes and gentleness right. So reading in Philippians the other day I pause at Philippians 4:5,

“Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near.”

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Gentleness is the first word that gave me pause. The Lord has been speaking to me about gentleness lately…thankfully He has been gentle with me–get it? (Some other Bible translations use the word, forbearance or modesty. But for this post, I’m going to look up gentleness in my trusty Thesaurus.) Gentleness is a defined as “intentional mildness.” Some synonyms are: kindness, carefulness, tenderness, caution. Gentleness is also “physical sensitivity, with the synonyms being: fragility, softness, tenderness, delicacy, mildness, pliability, smoothness, sweetness. And finally, “docility” with the following synonyms: meekness, obedience, tameness.

Wow!

You know what stopped me first? “Intentional” A synonym for intentional is “willful.” To me, for me…I must engage my will to be a gentle person. I can walk it, talk it and think it…but I have to will it to be it. I have to choose gentleness…and I have to keep choosing gentleness.

And then all those great synonyms, I can use them as questions, a mini examen if you will. I am a wife and mother so my questions first center on that vocation. I won’t ask or answer all of them here, but here are a few:

Am I careful when speaking with or responding to my husband and children? Do I choose my tone of voice and my words carefully (sarcastic, harsh, abrupt, hateful)? Am I careful with my body language (sigh or roll my eyes)?

The word pliability flipped a little light switch for me. I really don’t like change. It’s not even that I don’t like plans to be changed, I just pretty much don’t like change in general. Doesn’t sound very pliable does it? And do I have a softness about me? A sweetness? A smoothness?

These are some revealing questions I think.

And then expanding my questions to those around me…the grocery cashier, the receptionist on the phone, the telemarketer, the person counting out their change in front of me in the drive thru…? Is my gentleness evident to them? Would they recognize me as a Christian without ashes on my forehead?

The recent story I’ve briefly come across of 21 Coptic Christians being killed or the stories we read each day of the martyrs …would I be recognized as a Christian, by my gentleness, to the point of death?

This Lent, I will be intentionally choosing gentleness. Not only do I hope the world will recognize me as a Christian by my gentleness, but more importantly, my husband and children.

by Jenny

The Spirit of Perfection

We’re living in a week that could easily be labeled, “The Spirit of Perfection.” It happens every year, the first week of the year is when we decide to get serious about our life: spiritual, physical, mental and emotional…out with the old way of living and in with the new and improved! The fresh ideas and new plans we dream about, journal and make action lists for will surely be the ones that lead us to the status of perfect…right?

The Spirit of Perfection

As always, I am totally preaching to my own choir of one…Making plans to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to spend quiet time with God will not make me perfect. Actually, it will likely make me a mean, gripey, grouchy, grumpy, impatient, sleep deprived person. Mission not only “Not Accomplished” but failed in a big glorious way. Then discouragement will set in and not only will I not get up at 4:30…I probably won’t spend any quiet time with God because I will have deemed it “too hard” and not feasible. Wow…Happy New Year to me.

How about making color coded Pinterest worthy plans to read a set number of books this year? Sounds worthy…until I miss “Book ‘A’ must be finished by this date” deadline. Then discouragement sets in and I start beating myself up mentally because I can’t even finish the very first book on my list in a timely manner.

What if this life I live semi dictated by eight other people just gets to busy? What if I don’t finish the silly book by a certain date because I’ve been sitting on a soccer sideline or playing legos or painting at the dinning room table? Or better yet, what if this book is speaking directly to my soul at this time and I need to read it in smaller chunks so I can properly digest the instruction. Did I really fail?

Years ago I made a very beautiful schedule. It had evenly spaced boxes and color coded activities that fit neatly into set time slots. I emailed a copy to my Spiritual Father who instructed me to share it with my husband to see if it would be a burden to him. Whoa…What?

You see, right now and for many years to come, my perfection is completely intertwined to my duties as wife, mother, homemaker and homeschooler. My perfection is not directly related the number of hours I spend in solitary prayer. My perfection is not a direct result of this year spent Bible journaling. My perfection is not dependent on more of me…my plans, my desires, my dreams and goals. My means of perfection is doing more of what God calls me to do…perfectly.

“Most people when they wish to reform, pay much more attention to filling their life with certain difficult and extraordinary actions, than to purifying their intention and opposing their natural inclination in the ordinary duties of their state. In this they often deceive themselves, for it would be much better to make less change in the actions and more in the dispositions of the soul which prompt them.”
—Practice of Christian and Religious Perfection

You know what that says to me? Clean around the toilet with a cheerful heart. Sweep the floor for the umpteenth time with a smile on my lips. Pick up a lego piece with a light spirit. Hug a child, kiss a husband, listen to a friend with no other agenda crowding that moment in time.

I am not saying don’t make resolutions or BIG plans for the New Year. I am saying make those plans according to God’s plans for us. If God desires me to get up in the middle of the night to pray–most likely it will come in the form of a sick child. If God deems it necessary for me to spend long hours on my knees in prayer–most likely it will look like an opportunity to pray while mopping all the tile in my home on hands and knees. If God wants me to feed the hungry–it will probably first look like a group of growing children clamoring in the kitchen of my own home.

My spirit of perfection will most likely look very ordinary.

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by Jenny

Nightly Examen for Children: Was I Thankful?

I’ve shared before the art project–Our Family Rules Board–that turned into a Nightly Examen with Children. I would like to say, although ideally we would do this every single evening, life does sometimes interrupt our best plans. And if evening time does not work for your family, try during midday during a lunch break. Sometimes midday can help recapture a day that may have gotten off to a bad start or gotten out of hand. The purpose is to begin a nightly examen for children that they will then carry into their adult lives. And if you miss a day, grant yourself and your family grace.

I have posted on the first question, “Did I encourage others today?” (Bible Quotes: Encourage One Another) and the second question, “Did I pray frequently today? Did I pray for others today.” (Examen for Children: Teaching Our Children Prayer) Today let’s consider, “Was I thankful today? Did I tell God and others ‘Thank you.'”

So many of my parental thoughts right now can begin with this sentence, “I did a much better job when…” Life seems so busy and chaotic right now with teens and preteens all the way down to toddlers. But I have resolved to get back into the habit of reminding my older children and teaching younger ones to thank God for all things.

This practice can be a simple and easy one to start with even the youngest toddler. “Yes, that is a pretty leaf. How nice of God to make that beautiful leaf for you to find today. Thank you God for the pretty leaf.” Or, “That was so much fun playing with our friends today. Thank you for God for (and then list your friends) or the park you played at.”

As children get older a reminder of being thankful can possibly take the edge off a frustrating day. “I know you are frustrated you got thrown out at first, but thanks be to God for your awesome speed as you ran hard to get there.” Or, “Math is tough, thankfully we have the ability to try to figure this out…or we have Grandpa to help.” That may seem a stretch, but maybe because we are not used to offering thanks in all things.

And maybe for an older child, a teen…”I know your friends disappointed you and I’m sorry. Let’s be thankful God will never disappoint you. You may not understand what’s going on right now, but God does and He wants the best for you.” These gratitude pep talks may sound unusual at first, but eventually they will become habit and much better than some empty words like, “You’ll find better friends someday,” or “These friends don’t know what they are missing.” Those are truths, but put them in the context of why they are the truth; because God the Father loves us individually and wants the best for us.

Along with learning to be thankful spur of the moment throughout the day, begin the habit of keeping a gratitude journal and have your children do the same. Again, this is a practice we were so good at and then too many interruptions got in the way. I saw the fruit it bore and we will pick this habit back up soon. The littlest ones may not understand the concept at first, but soon they catch on and begin the daily repetition of: momma, daddy, doggy, swing set…

Try to keep yourself in a grateful state and it will make teaching your children a much easier task; you will have already been teaching them by your actions. I just completed 30 Days of Thanksgiving and it proved to be, as I knew it would, a much needed daily reminder of all the things I have to be thankful for.

Each day there is more encouragement and even some laughs over on my Facebook page. Head over and “Like” me there for more.

by Jenny

St Andrew Christmas Novena

November 30 is the beginning of the St. Andrew Christmas Novena. What’s a novena and who is St Andrew and why a Christmas Novena you ask? Before I break all that down, let me point you to some lovely reading others have posted on the St. Andrew Christmas Novena. Sarah at Amongst Lovely Things has some of the best stories and posts on the internet concerning this novena. She also has beautiful pictures of the answer to her prayers. See those cute little twin boys–answered prayer.

As with many devotions in my life, I might have first heard of the St. Andrew Christmas Novena from Elizabeth Foss. And this year she has a free novena printable available this year.

Meadows of Grace has a beautiful St. Andrew Chaplet in her shop. (I’ve also been enjoying her Finer Femininity magazines.) And Ruth from the Tucker Bunch/Just Another Day in Paradise also makes a beautiful St Andrew Chaplet.

And finally, while we are looking at beautiful chaplets and rosaries, have you seen this beautiful one, Gifts for the King. That would make a lovely Christmas Gift or an Epiphany gift.

St. Andrew Christmas Novena

Click to print the St Andrew Christmas Novena Printable with space to list your intentions.

Back to the St Andrew Christmas Novena. First, what is a Novena? A novena is simply nine days of prayer. Although the St Andrew Christmas Novena begins November 30 and is said until Christmas Eve. But for a typical novena, “Why nine days?” Think back to the story of the Apostles and Mary waiting in the upper room after our Lord’s Ascension. They were instructed by our Lord to pray and wait for the Holy Spirit. (Acts 1) And although the Book of Acts does use the term “Novena” or “Nine days of prayer” here’s the timeline of events:

Ascension: Day 40, apostles go into prayer.
41 Pray – First day of prayer.
42 Pray – Day 2
43 Pray – Day 3
44 Pray – Day 4
45 Pray – Day 5
46 Pray – Day 6
47 Pray – Day 7
48 Pray – Day 8
49 Pray – Day 9
Pentecost: Holy Spirit descends

And again, why nine days? Aside from the obvious timeline of events, there is a constancy in prayer evident in committing to nine days. The scriptures tell us to pray without ceasing. Also, recall the story our Lord told of the persistent widow found in Luke 18. The widow was rewarded for her persistence. (Luke 18:7)

Who is St. Andrew and why do we pray to him? First, and most importantly, we are not praying to St. Andrew. We are remembering him as an Apostle of our Lord and seeking his intercession–although oddly, he is not even mentioned in this novena. Seeking the intercession of a saint or Mary, the Mother of Jesus can cause some confusion. But just like you may call me and ask me to pray for some intention you have: your husband getting a job, your mother’s medical tests, your joy in your home today…we ask the saints to do the same for us. And no, that is not praying to the dead as some my say. How many times do we say or hear someone say, “I know my granny is looking out for me from Heaven…I feel like my mom is watching over me through this trial…” Seeking the intercession of the saints is the same thing.

Why St. Andrew? Simply because November 30th is his feast day or the day we remember his death. Again, something we do all the time in our day to day with family and friends; we remember the day they were born and or the day they died. Again, although this called the St Andrew Christmas Novena, it being on his feast day, November 30 and is said until Christmas Eve.

I hope I have cleared up any confusion, questions or misconceptions you may have about the St Andrew Christmas Novena. Enjoy the printable with space to list your intentions and the other links I shared about this beautiful devotion.

Each day there is more encouragement and even some laughs over on my Facebook page. Head over and “Like” me there for more.

by Jenny

Examen for Children: Teaching Our Children Prayer

I briefly touched upon how my family does our nightly examen with children. I gave just a bare bones version and now I’m going back and considering it point by point. I’ve already posted on our first question of the examen for children, “Did I encourage others today?” (Bible Quotes: Encourage One Another) Today let’s consider, Examen for Children: Teaching Our Children Prayer.

Examen for Children

We ask ourselves and we ask our children to consider, “Did I pray frequently today? Did I pray for others?” And in these two questions we are leading them to the understanding that prayer is not only something we do before we eat, when someone is sick or when we need something. Our daily goal is to pray frequently–to pray always. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) This concept is difficult for me as an adult, so how do I teach my child to pray always? We do it by trying to cultivate in ourselves and teach the habit of prayer to our children. But first, to teach the habit, we have to know what we consider prayer to be.

Teresa of Avila said, “Prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.” So, just as we teach our children how to be good friends and playmates at the park or in school, we teach them to be good friends with God. Tell them, “Just like you would call your friend or momma or daddy over to show us a pretty flower you found or an interesting bug, tell God about it. Thank Him for making the pretty flower, the creepy-crawly bug or the long stick.” That is how we begin to form the habit of prayer, the habit of conversation with God. They will learn to live in a constant state of thinking of God, showing God something neat, thanking God for something He made.

“He does not ask much of us, merely a thought of Him from time to time, a little act of adoration, sometimes to ask for His grace, sometimes to offer Him your sufferings, at other times to thank Him for the graces, past and present, He has bestowed on you, in the midst of your troubles to take solace in Him as often as you can. Lift up your heart to Him during your meals and in company; the least little remembrance will always be the most pleasing to Him. One need not cry out very loudly; He is nearer to us than we think.”
― Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God

My favorite line from the above quote…“He is nearer to us than we think.” We need to teach our children that foundational truth. God is always near them. How many of us need to learn that–me with my hand waving high!

Prayer never needs to wait for the right time or place…it is always the right time or place.

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And next, we teach our children, this conversation, this habit of conversing with God–because it is a habit–is not just for ourselves. Some of the best conversations we can have with God is when we start telling Him about our love for others. When we pray daddy has a good day at work, or the trash man is safe on the icy roads, we are talking to God, but in that conversation, we are praying for others.

And when our children tell us or the thought crosses our own minds, “I don’t know what or who to pray for,” we teach them to ask God. He will always honor one of His children asking how to pray for another of His children.

Teaching our children prayer is teaching them the habit of talking to God. To visit with Him, tell Him about their day, the neat things they found or their friends. The more we go through the examen for children, the more this habit of teaching our children prayer will become; the two habits: nightly examen and habitual prayer go hand in hand.

For more information please see the original post, Nightly Examen with Children.