Although not the longest chapter in Matthew, it feels like it to me.  There is just so much going on in this chapter.  Just read the headings: Jesus Brought Before Pilate, The Suicide of Judas, Pilate Questions Jesus, Barabbas or Jesus, Pilate Hands Jesus Over to be Crucified, The Soldiers Mock Jesus, The Crucifixion of Jesus, The Death of Jesus, The Burial of Jesus, The Guard at the Tomb.  It almost feels frenzied to me, the amount of information and story telling going on concerning the last couple of days of Jesus’ life and death is overwhelming.  As I’m Bible journaling through this chapter, this heading stopped me hard, “The Suicide of Judas.”

A very dear friend of mine’s son is walking forty miles a day for the next four and a half days to raise awareness about veteran suicide in support of a film he is in, Project 22. Suicide is real and it’s not reserved for some traitor who sold the God Man for thirty pieces of silver. And you know what verse struck me, verse 4b, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.”

A quotes from the movie trailer I just linked to

So often hurting souls think they are alone; such an evil, evil ploy of the enemy!  So often they hear something along the lines of what Judas heard, “What is that to us?  See to it yourself.”  This isn’t said out of lack of concern, it’s said out of ignorance or fear.  Again, ignorance and fear, such evil, evil ploys of the enemy!  Can you hear me mommas and teens and widows and every living, breathing soul?  Because I am looking at you right now and I am telling you…

Do you feel abandoned? scared? frustrated? exhausted? alone? So did Jesus.

There is nothing you can feel that someone else has not felt…maybe even someone in your inner circle.

There is nothing…nothing so difficult that can take your hope away from you and don’t you give it up either.

Suicide is real and scary. I do not like to read about, talk about or think about suicide. As a matter of fact there is not a surer way of making me shut off a movie, trash a book or walk away from the internet than to bring up suicide.  It makes my skin crawl, my heart race and my mind try to escape. But worse than all those scary feelings I try my hardest avoid, I would never want someone to feel from me through my words or actions, “See to it yourself.”

Bible Journaling: Matthew 27

P–There are so many souls who are hurt Lord…so many.  Please Lord, I pray they never give up hope.  I pray they run to You, see help…and rest.  This chapter feels frenzied and life feels frenzied and sometimes Lord, people just just jump ship, get off the merry-go-round and check out.  I pray rest for their weary souls.  I pray rest for their distraught minds.  I pray rest for their drained hearts.

O–There is a lot to this chapter and I don’t know that I could add more or stop once I started. This is an emotional chapter and one I think best spent considering it in light of the Stations of the Cross.  During the stations, time seems slowed and this story can be taken in properly–through prayer and meditation.

W—vs 4b…”What is that to us? See to it yourself.”

E–So how do I apply this Scripture and these meditations to my life? I think just being aware Lord. People are fighting some hard interior battles that I am not even aware of; charity, charity, charity. And to assume the best and forgive the worst.

R–Lord, help me to be kind and patient with all I meet because I don’t know their interior battles. Help me to be kind and patient with myself; I do know my interior battles. I pray Lord for a spirit of hope for myself and in abundance so I can share it with others.

To read more about the acronym POWER I use in my Bible Journaling, visit this post, Bible Journaling: A POWERful New Method. 

Please share your POWERful reflections in the comments.

Although a difficult story to read, this leading up to the Passion of Christ, it is at the same time so very beautiful.  It begins with Jesus at the table, and whether there was a meal getting ready to be served or the meal had already completed is not important.  This makes me think of how many important conversations and events of our daily life take place at the table.  The disciples openly wondered about the waste of the ointment and sometimes do we or our children wonder at the “waste” of sitting down to a family meal?  As I ponder this thought for my Bible journaling, I’m reminded of the cheap pizza and salad with glasses of sweet tea we shared with our neighbor last night.  The meal wasn’t the important part…the time spent together was.

You know, with all the ways God made Man could have done this or that, He chose a meal, the Last Supper, as a way to spend time with His apostles.  During that meal, the beloved disciple John, rested on our Lord–literally rested on our Lord.  Our Lord washed the feet of His beloved, as one more example of His ever serving love.  He then instituted the Eucharist and the sacred priesthood…over a shared meal.  There was tension when He spoke of a betrayer and rousing denials of any future wrong doing.  A real honest to goodness meal you all.  Now how important does family meal time seem?

During it, we have time to rest with our loves.  Yes, rest and yes, even with toddlers.  Rest is relative and may look like cutting meat and wiping up spills depending on the average age at your table.  We mommas are able to serve our loves once again.  Yes, I know we serve them all day long doing this and that…but here is another opportunity.  I have read a couple of stories over the years across the world wide web about various tragedies involving sweet mommas–cancer, plane crashes, death, illness…at some point in each of these stories, these mommas say they just wanted to to be home making dinner for their family.  They wanted to be let back into the ordinary act of just making a meal and serving their family.  How’s that for perspective?

POWERful Bible Journaling: Matthew 26

P –Lord, I’m getting lost and frustrated in the daily; it’s ordinarily hard.  This life of large family living and homeschooling is not easy.  As a matter of fact, it’s downright frustrating some days.  I do not want to be the poster child for “You shouldn’t have so many children” and “The school system is the best place for your kids.”  So I keep the frustrations to myself.  I know You called me to this…You want me to do this…I need to rely on Your strength to do this.  Amen and over and out…I feel much better after that little informal prayer.  Thanks God.

O –This chapter is so very beautiful.  It’s the Eucharist you all!  Jesus very clearly says what He means to say when he states, “This is My Body,” and then “This is My Blood.”  If He meant it as a symbol, He would have said it was a symbol.

W —vs 58…”But Peter was following him at a distance, as far as the courtyard of the high priest; and going inside, he sat with the guards in order to see how this would end.”

E –Here’s how I envision this passage, “How closely do I follow You Lord?”

R –I don’t want to follow You from a distance waiting to see how things are going to go down.  Um, been there–done that already and things went down badly.  So I pray again, I need Your strength as I make my way through this valley of tears.

Please leave your POWERful reflections in the comments

We started going to Church when I was around ten years old.  And although not raised in a religious home, for some reason I remember this chapter of Matthew, especially the parable of the talents.  In my Bible journaling, I pondered this story and how I used to think it was so unfair.  Here was this poor servant of an obviously mean master.  All the servant was trying to do was stay out trouble; he didn’t want to lose his master’s money and who would?  But, his fear kept him from doing any good and for that, he was thrown into the outer darkness!  Whoa!

There are times when I share something here, especially when I tip-toe into sharing about the struggles I have had with my mind…and I’m afraid.  I’m afraid I will become a walking bulls-eye for the enemy to start attacking me again.  I’m afraid I’ll regress back to that dark and scary time.  I’m afraid I’ll be held up or pummeled down by someone reading here.  And yes, there are times when I let that fear get the better of me.  Some of it is legitimate; I have a husband, who along with me doesn’t want to spend much time examining or recalling that time.  I also have children who were little back then and now early to late teens; my story doesn’t just affect me.

But, I also know that in those times when I do share the bits and pieces I am comfortable sharing, you respond.  I get private emails saying anything from “Help” to “Thank You” and “You too?”  If I am called to serve others by sharing what I learned in, through and because of that dark time–maybe not even saying “This was the specific struggle,”  but by a general spirit of encouragement, then I have to respond out of obedience to the Father who brought me through it.  I used the word “if” but I know I have this calling–some calling, to encourage you to keep going, to spend time with your Bible and to make it your own.

Let’s all pray I am using my talents as intended and not burying them.  I don’t want the same fate as the scardy cat servant in the parable!

POWERful Bible Journaling: Matthew 25

P –Lord, use me.  Overcome my fear and use me for Your glory.

O –This chapter feels heavy with responsibility to me.  The parable of the Ten Bridesmaids warns us to be prepared or risk hearing, “Truly I tell you, I do not know you.” (vs 12)  I just spoke about the parable of the Talents and how we have to invest what has been given to us so it will multiply–not for ourselves, but for God.  And then the call that what we did for the least, we did for God.

W —vs 13…”Keep awake therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” 

E –I do not really care for surprises.  And I certainly do not want to be surprised come judgment day!  This call to keep awake is a real one, especially as time marches on, because really Lord?  Just when I think things in this crazy world are bad, they get worse.  In the end, I want to hear, “…enter into the joy of your master.”  To hear those words, I must…have to…live faithful to my vocation.  I think it was St. Thomas Aquinas who is quoted as saying, “Do what you are doing well.”  Let everything I do, be done well.

R –Lord, this year You inspired me to choose a word for our little homeschool.  Although I would have chosen “obedience” or “truthfulness” or “kindness” or…my list can go for a while…You chose “DILIGENCE.”  So this is our year to learn the virtue of diligence.  And since I cannot teach what I do not have, diligence begins with me.

Please leave your POWERful reflections in the comments

Resource List:
My large print Bible

The NRSV Notetaker’s Bible

Ignatius Catholic Study Bible: New Testament

Haydock Douay-Rheims Catholic Bible

The Great Commentary of Cornelius A’ Lapide

A Practical Commentary On Holy Scripture

Today’s Bible journaling contains a providential scripture for back to school time.  While reading Matthew 24, I paused at verse 13, “But the one who endures to the end will be saved.”  That little verse could be applied to so many aspects of our life…marriage, parenting, homeschooling, our faith (obviously).  As I begin my twelfth year of homeschooling, I pause to thank God for the grace of endurance to continue, according to His will for our family, our homeschooling journey.  We almost gave into the temptation to quit.  Looking back now, I can see it for exactly what it was at the time–a temptation.

POWERful Bible Journaling: Matthew 24

P –Lord, I pray that You bless our upcoming homeschooling year.  I pray You protect and bless our actual little school at home.  I pray Your protection on my children.  I pray they grow in wisdom and grace in our home, under our influence.  I pray for Chris and I as parents.  I pray we listen closely to Your will for their lives.  I pray everything we do leads them in closer friendship with You.  I pray we teach them their faith well; a faith they will embrace, love and share.  You created them for Yourself…You have given them Your holy Church as a guide and refuge, thank you for letting Chris and I participate in the loving, teaching and educating of these precious souls.

O –When I was a kid, I used to be scared to death when people would start talking about the end of the world.  But one day, as a young adult I read this verse in Matthew, “But about that day and hour, no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” (vs36)  That verse…that truth, let me take a big deep breath.  I could stop worrying about the when, because no one knew!  Not even the Son.

W —vs 35…”Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.”

E –That verse right there is the reason we memorize scripture over poetry.  Poetry has its place, and a very beautiful place, but not before scripture.  Your words about the end of the world…Your words of truth, gave me consolation and clarity and so does Your Word.

R –I want my children to keep their way pure, “How can young people keep their way pure?  By guarding it according to your word.” (Psalm 119:9)

Please leave your POWERful reflections in the comments

Resource List:
My large print Bible

The NRSV Notetaker’s Bible

Ignatius Catholic Study Bible: New Testament

Haydock Douay-Rheims Catholic Bible

The Great Commentary of Cornelius A’ Lapide

A Practical Commentary On Holy Scripture

This is a tough chapter huh?  There are a bunch of “Woes!”  Woe to the blind guides, the hypocrites,  and he finishes by calling them a “brood of vipers!”  OUCH!  I would not want to be on the end of that tongue lashing then or now or at the judgment.  But it ends rather sweetly with Jesus comparing Himself to a mother hen…only the chicks would not allow themselves to be gathered.  Where’s the “Hmmm” emoji when you need it?  Let’s get to the Bible journaling.

POWERful Bible Journaling: Matthew 23

P –So many nights Lord I go to bed thinking, “I could have done better.”  Please help me to do better.  I don’t like feeling I let myself get the better of myself…and not in a great way.  I also don’t like the bad example I become when I do get the better of myself.

They teach and order well, but they live ill. They both break the law, and scandalise their subjects by their evil example, and thus incite them likewise to break the law…For men give more credit to deeds than they do to words.
The Great Commentary of Cornelius A’ Lapide

O –Here’s my take away from this chapter.  I feel like a hypocrite here in this space often.  I fear you come here and think I read my Bible everyday…some days I don’t.  I’m afraid you see a picture where I’ve captured some beautiful light and you assume the rest of the house or yard looks that way…as I sit here and type, I have a mountain…MOUNTAIN of laundry to fold.  I’m concerned you think I’ve got it all together and really I’m probably trying to figure out what it all is and where it all is.    I think, you think…and maybe that’s just a big ‘ol ball of pride and you don’t even think about me, lol!  I hope these are just threatening feelings and not the truth.  I don’t want to be a hypocrite and Jesus go off with some “Woe to you Jenny!”  I don’t want what happens here to make you feel anything less than a beautiful, wonderful, child of God.

W —vs 3…So you must obey and follow everything they tell you to do; do not, however, imitate their actions, because they don’t practice what they preach.

E –I think the only way to make sure I’m staying a true course is frequenting the Sacraments, especially confession…but not in a scrupulous way.  I want to better myself, not battle myself.

R –Here’s my prayer, and it’s a simple one Lord…”Show me.”

Please leave your POWERful reflections in the comments

Resource List:
My large print Bible

The NRSV Notetaker’s Bible

Ignatius Catholic Study Bible: New Testament

Haydock Douay-Rheims Catholic Bible

The Great Commentary of Cornelius A’ Lapide

A Practical Commentary On Holy Scripture