I’ve shared before the art project–Our Family Rules Board–that turned into a Nightly Examen with Children. I would like to say, although ideally we would do this every single evening, life does sometimes interrupt our best plans. And if evening time does not work for your family, try during midday during a lunch break. Sometimes midday can help recapture a day that may have gotten off to a bad start or gotten out of hand.  The purpose is to begin a nightly examen for children that they will then carry into their adult lives.  And if you miss a day, grant yourself and your family grace.

I have posted on the first question, “Did I encourage others today?”  (Bible Quotes: Encourage One Another) and the second question, “Did I pray frequently today?  Did I pray for others today.”  (Examen for Children: Teaching Our Children Prayer)  Today let’s consider, “Was I thankful today?  Did I tell God and others ‘Thank you.'”

So many of my parental thoughts right now can begin with this sentence, “I did a much better job when…” Life seems so busy and chaotic right now with teens and preteens all the way down to toddlers. But I have resolved to get back into the habit of reminding my older children and teaching younger ones to thank God for all things.

This practice can be a simple and easy one to start with even the youngest toddler. “Yes, that is a pretty leaf. How nice of God to make that beautiful leaf for you to find today. Thank you God for the pretty leaf.” Or, “That was so much fun playing with our friends today. Thank you for God for (and then list your friends) or the park you played at.”

As children get older a reminder of being thankful can possibly take the edge off a frustrating day. “I know you are frustrated you got thrown out at first, but thanks be to God for your awesome speed as you ran hard to get there.” Or, “Math is tough, thankfully we have the ability to try to figure this out…or we have Grandpa to help.” That may seem a stretch, but maybe because we are not used to offering thanks in all things.

And maybe for an older child, a teen…”I know your friends disappointed you and I’m sorry. Let’s be thankful God will never disappoint you. You may not understand what’s going on right now, but God does and He wants the best for you.” These gratitude pep talks may sound unusual at first, but eventually they will become habit and much better than some empty words like, “You’ll find better friends someday,” or “These friends don’t know what they are missing.” Those are truths, but put them in the context of why they are the truth; because God the Father loves us individually and wants the best for us.

Along with learning to be thankful spur of the moment throughout the day, begin the habit of keeping a gratitude journal and have your children do the same. Again, this is a practice we were so good at and then too many interruptions got in the way. I saw the fruit it bore and we will pick this habit back up soon. The littlest ones may not understand the concept at first, but soon they catch on and begin the daily repetition of: momma, daddy, doggy, swing set…

Try to keep yourself in a grateful state and it will make teaching your children a much easier task; you will have already been teaching them by your actions.  I just completed 30 Days of Thanksgiving and it proved to be, as I knew it would, a much needed daily reminder of all the things I have to be thankful for.

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I briefly touched upon how my family does our nightly examen with children.  I gave just a bare bones version and now I’m going back and considering it point by point.  I’ve already posted on our first question of the examen for children, “Did I encourage others today?”  (Bible Quotes: Encourage One Another)  Today let’s consider, Examen for Children: Teaching Our Children Prayer.

Examen for Children

We ask ourselves and we ask our children to consider, “Did I pray frequently today? Did I pray for others?” And in these two questions we are leading them to the understanding that prayer is not only something we do before we eat, when someone is sick or when we need something. Our daily goal is to pray frequently–to pray always. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) This concept is difficult for me as an adult, so how do I teach my child to pray always? We do it by trying to cultivate in ourselves and teach the habit of prayer to our children. But first, to teach the habit, we have to know what we consider prayer to be.

Teresa of Avila said, “Prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.” So, just as we teach our children how to be good friends and playmates at the park or in school, we teach them to be good friends with God. Tell them, “Just like you would call your friend or momma or daddy over to show us a pretty flower you found or an interesting bug, tell God about it. Thank Him for making the pretty flower, the creepy-crawly bug or the long stick.” That is how we begin to form the habit of prayer, the habit of conversation with God.  They will learn to live in a constant state of thinking of God, showing God something neat, thanking God for something He made.

“He does not ask much of us, merely a thought of Him from time to time, a little act of adoration, sometimes to ask for His grace, sometimes to offer Him your sufferings, at other times to thank Him for the graces, past and present, He has bestowed on you, in the midst of your troubles to take solace in Him as often as you can. Lift up your heart to Him during your meals and in company; the least little remembrance will always be the most pleasing to Him. One need not cry out very loudly; He is nearer to us than we think.”
― Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God

My favorite line from the above quote…“He is nearer to us than we think.” We need to teach our children that foundational truth. God is always near them. How many of us need to learn that–me with my hand waving high!

And next, we teach our children, this conversation, this habit of conversing with God–because it is a habit–is not just for ourselves. Some of the best conversations we can have with God is when we start telling Him about our love for others. When we pray daddy has a good day at work, or the trash man is safe on the icy roads, we are talking to God, but in that conversation, we are praying for others.

And when our children tell us or the thought crosses our own minds, “I don’t know what or who to pray for,” we teach them to ask God. He will always honor one of His children asking how to pray for another of His children.

Teaching our children prayer is teaching them the habit of talking to God. To visit with Him, tell Him about their day, the neat things they found or their friends. The more we go through the examen for children, the more this habit of teaching our children prayer will become; the two habits: nightly examen and habitual prayer go hand in hand.

For more information please see the original post, Nightly Examen with Children.

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